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“Go West Life Is Peaceful There……or is it“
Big Chief black welcomes all the Cowboys, Cowgirls and Indians to the Annual Hoedown in aid of the NSPCC. Big Chief black is the chief of a tribe of local Medicine men jointly known as Rowlands Pharmacy. Big Chief Black has no idea HOW the hoedown will turn out but expects some of the evening will be Good, a lot of the evening to be Bad and most of the night will be Ugly.Last night big chief black, a powerful medicine man, had a dream that outlaws would come to the hoedown and shoot up the town so the jailhouse is ready.Big Chief Black holds a council of war with the local sheriff who tells him to tell the jailer about his dreamAn hour before sundown the saloon is quiet with only the deputy having a shot of liquor before the town’s folk ride into town.Big Chief Black show’s the tribal markings of all the local Medicine men that supply potions and lotions to the local medicine men known as Rowlands PharmacyBig Chief black is amazed by the NSPCC squaw’s audio visual black magic and needs some fire waterThe annual hoedown kicks off with a magnificent performance by the early ancestors of the village people It sure ain’t long before some outlaws turn up and big chief black holds them at gun point until the sheriff arrives.Where is the Sheriff when Big Chief Black needs his help with the Outlaws….oh there he is with his deputy cracking open a bottle of fire water from the french reservation.Big Chief Black has had a belly full of this no good womanising, hard drinking sheriff and offers a reward to round up a possy.The sheriff should look at the state of this old timer who has been drinking fire water from the french reservation most of his lifeMore outlaws are rounded up by the possy and this time they have caught the deputy drunk as skunk falling out the door of the house of ill repute.This next bunch of outlaws snitch on the sheriff for being a no good whoring drunk who spends most of the day drinking fire water from the french reservation with the old timer.Big Chief black has had a belly full of this no good hard drinking, whoring sheriff and throws him in the Jailhouse. It ain’t long before the no good whoring, hard drinking sheriff attempts to bride the Jailers.The hoedown is hotting up and the Jailhouse if filling up…much to the delight of the no good whoring, hard drinking sheriff.A local medicine man and supplier of lotions and potions to Rowlands Pharmacy is also thrown into jail by Big Chief black because his prices disrespect the chiefs budget.More of the Sheriff’s crooked gang are rounded up and thrown into jail but they just can’t stop trying to bribe the guardsThese two have just returned from Broke Back Mountain and have decided to come out to the hoedown to celebrate.Big Chief black show’s the wanted posters of “Big little Poo Shooter” and the Saloon girl who goes by the name of ” you can have your cake and eat it” because the drums have told him they are heading for the hoedown and trouble ain’t far behind them.Big Chief black is ready with warrants for their arrest’s and they gonna be well hung by sunset.Big chief black attempts to buy a saloon girl to join his many wives on the reservation but she is highly insulted by the price he offers.This one looks like she may accept Big Chief blacks offer of a lame horse and a chance to abseil down the side of a church on the scouse reservation.Big Chief black is having no luck with the saloon girls but he looks like he may have cracked it with Woody from Toy Story.Big Chief Black is happy because the saloon girls are also laughing at the price they are offered from the cowboys. Your Humble Narrator is running out of inspiration and will return after a few more pictures.Looks like old crazy horse has been on the fire water again and big chief black is thinking of claiming the first scalp of the evening.At last a saloon girls finally accepts big chief blacks proposal of a lame horse and a chance to abseil down the side of a church on the scouse reservation.Meanwhile back at the Jailhouse the boys from broke back mountain are edging their bets that the Sheriff has been in jail long enough and is ready for a ride up the broke back. And if he isn’t they have laced the profiteroles with horse tranquilizers While the broke back boys are trying to turn the sheriff a cowgirl attempts a jail break.But that no good whoring, hard drinking sheriff ain’t for turning and makes a move on the cowgirl.But the cow girl is a horse breaker and does not want to be broken herself so she cries out for help from another cowgirl.The other cowgirl arrives but now that no good whoring hard drinking sheriff has got them both cornered and is trying to plow them with liquor. But where are the jailers when all this is going on….how the hell did they get locked in their own jail….that no good sheriff will do anything to have his wicked way.Here comes the possy and the sheriff attempts to scale the jail house walls.Zorrow has been arrested and is being auctioned off to the highest bidder…this cowgirl wants to have her wicked way with him.But she is out bid for Zorrow by crazy horse who the Mexican boys have seen around riding on broke back.Big chief black is having non of it because, as an experienced medicine man, he knows these broke back boys spread like wild fire. He calls to one of the broke back boys.He knows the only medicine is an old Indian remedy ” forced female observation”, usually done on the reservation. So he locks up one of the saloon girls and forces one of the broke back boys to remove his mustache and observe the female saloon girl. But alas the Broke back ain’t for turning and simply heckles the saloon girl.Big Chief Black’s prediction is coming true, broke back fever is spreading around the hoedown like wild fire.The cowgirls are entertaining themselves and one of them is making a break from jail in case she has to swap her cowboy boots for big white training shoes.